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The time immediately after the Tunnel
Club gig was a period for reflection for the band, who
attempted to sum up their achievements so far in the following
interview.
Altamont: I know there are a wide
range of religious beliefs in the band, perhaps we can start
with that?
AA: Hmm. A touchy subject.
AS (affects Irish accent): 'I have
a very strong religious belief which I am not prepared to
talk about at a moment's notice'. Bono said that.
PC: I believe in one force.
A: What, as in 'Star Wars'?
PC: No, as in God.
A: I think I would like to go deeper
into actually how you construct and write your songs as a
band.
AS: Al turns up and says 'I think
we ought to do a song...'
AA: ... that'll sound like The Cult...
AS: ... yeah... that's basically it...
and he plays a riff and then the drums give it a bit of beat...
AA: ... from the drums you can get
the basic...
AS: ... yeah you get a vibe... then
Newboid adds the bass. And then Paul goes away and massacres
it.
A: A little bit about your background.
AS: I came from the East End originally.
Then I moved to downtown Delhi where I developed this strange
skin pigment...
AA: He was one of the original 'Boys
From Brazil'...
AS (singing): "Copacabana..."
A: Paul - is it all right to call
you Paul or, er, Asshole?
PC: Yeah sure, call me Asshole, as
long as you've got a good dentist...
AS: Nice one!
A: You're the final piece in the jigsaw
of the Acolytes. Have you found it difficult to fit in with
the rest of the band?
PC: Well, yeah-
AS: Can I just butt in here for one
moment? The actual jigsaw was of a sunset and his was a Tonka
Toy... (Alastair is taken totally unaware by this and collapses
in a fit of laughter.)
A: What is it that holds you together?
PC: Er, I dunno...
A: In your opinion.
PC: I think it's just one big chemistry.
AS: Bags me the bunsen burner!
A: What is your ambition?
PC: To be with these guys in the greatest
rock'n'roll band in the world.
A: Hmm. No small ambition. Can you
describe your image to me?
PC: In the press we're portrayed as
a bad-boy band. I don't know why. We've never done anything
out of place-
AS: I think he (points at Paul) spilt
some soup down a customer once. That spoilt his image. And
he didn't bring his bill quick enough.
PC: We get this bad-boy image 'cos
Al won't shave or... (turns to Andy.)
AS: ... Andy won't grow a beard! (Everyone
chortles at the prospect of Andy growing - or being able to
grow - a beard.)
A: Do you actually feel 'bad boys'?
AA: 'Bad boys'. It's a hell of a question.
AS: We're very naughty. (Slaps wrist).
Ouch.
AA: We do that (sticks two fingers
up) to the camera.
A: Well that's okay...
AS: What if we did it all the time?
A: Well, we'd go and interview someone
else. So, with a 'bad boy' image are you going to play at
charity concerts?
AS: Yeah, we'd do it. I mean we just
live to play live - we'd do it for free if we didn't need
the money.
AA: Oh! Haven't I heard that before
somewhere?
PC: I mean, where do you draw charity?
AS: You don't draw charity, you give
charity. (Whole band roar with laughter, except Paul, who's
deadly serious.)
AA: "I'd like to withdraw some from
Oxfam, please." It's not a bank, Paul!
PC: I mean, where do you draw the
line at charity?
AS: Between the 'C' and the 'H'?
A: At the moment there are millions
of people starving who require immediate financial aid.
PC: Yeah, but there is food mountains
just wasting away. If you want to talk about charity...
AS: ... talk to Paul, he's the guy.
Phone 01 986 8333.
A: These food mountains, where are
they?
PC: They're in places like Holland,
most of Europe, America-
A: Can you give me some figures on
that so we can check up on them?
PC: I could give you some figures,
but they'd be wrong. (Roaring laughter from all sides). But
they would be, wouldn't they?
A: If we can turn to your lyrics,
there has been comment on the fact that they may be ripping
off other bands.
PC: Who?
A: The Cult, Sisters Of Mercy...
PC: Are you talking lyrics?
A: Yeah.
PC: Then you could be going back to
every guitar riff ever-
A: No, we're talking lyrics. How do
you feel about instrumentals?
AS: We like them. (Pauses). It leaves
the way open to avoid lyrics.
A: What's your home town?
AS: We're a Harlow band.
PC: Harlow, Essex. We're in Theydon
Bois, actually. And I live in Greenwich. (Everyone groans
and claps their hands to their foreheads).
AS: I thought we agreed that we were
a Harlow band.
PC: Why?
AA: 'Cos it's stupid if we say we
live in five different places.
A: And where do you play in Harlow.
PC: A place called The Square.
AA: Membership's £1.25!
(Altamont's interviewer was Newboid
who talked to Paul (PC), Alastair (AA) and Andy (AS)).
The subsequent weeks saw Andy in hospital with appendicitis
and the consequent cancellation of a few scheduled gigs. Once
Andy was back to rights the band re-emerged with their plans
to make 1988 the year of the Acolytes! They outline some of
their intentions in this next snippet.
A: Welcome Acolytes Of The Sun.
All: Fuck off!
A: What have you got fixed up for 1988?
AA: Harlow, The Square - 1st February.
MN: And the Tunnel Club; that's a
right dive...
MC: Get a 108 bus.
A: Who's the composer for the band?
All: Me!
A: Alastair writes all the music?
AS: He'd like to think so, but it just
emerges.
A: How long have the band been together?
AS: That's a good question, don't get
me wrong-
MN: It's a valid question that we don't
talk about at a moment's notice.
AS: No, no, seriously. Well, like, the
bulk of the band has been together, sorta like, well, three
of us have been together, sorta like, a year, over a year-
MN: The majority...
AS: ... over 15 months, 16 months...
as... as, er, like, me... me Newboid and Al have been together,
sorta like... me and Al have been together for ages, I mean,
we just-
AA: And I've been together for about
19 years!
A: So how long have you been formed
then?
AS: About 5 months really.
A: Do you think you've done well in
a short period?
AS: No.
AA: Well, we could've done more...
MN: It all depends on your menstrual
cycle really...
AS: It all depends on Mark's menstrual
cycle... I mean sometimes he gets a puncture and there's no
way we can get about...
AA: I know a joke about that...
MN: Well don't tell it.
A: What are your ambitions?
AA: Basically we're looking for that
one killer album.
A: And that's it?
AA: That's it.
A: The end of the Acolytes after their
first album.
AA: Yeah.
A: You don't think that's a bit too
Sisters Of Mercy-ish?
AA: You only wanna be remembered really
for what you're good at.
AS: Yeah, take The Alarm for example.
MC: Yeah, they're bad at everything.
A: So if the split does come after the
first album, would you carry on?
AA: I'm gonna top myself.
MC: I'll top yer.
AS: Personally, we all hope he does
it before the album. 'Cos Mickey's gonna die when he's 24. We've
arranged that. That means you've only got six years.
MC: Bloody 'ell.
A: Well, Acolytes, you've been a really
boring band to interview, actually.
AS: You should've seen the other interview
we did with our singer! That was even funnier!! All about the
butter mountains in Holland, for goodness sake!!! The flattest
country in the world!!!!
A: What was the reaction of the audience
at the Tunnel Club?
MN: It was fantastic.
AS: It was good. I mean if they hadn't
all been our friends it would've been brilliant.
A: Once again I would like to thank
the Acolytes-
AS: What? You haven't finished yet!
MN: You're not taking this seriously,
are you?
A: No, it's boring.
AS: He says it's boring! Right everyone,
that's Paul - our singer!
MN: Boring! You should've seen the one
he did, I mean, let's face it...
(Band interviewed by Paul, talking to Alastair (AA), Newboid
(MN), Mike (MC) and Andy (AS).)
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